Log:The Ballad of Luka Krante

The Ballad of Luka Krante

OOC Date: August 15, 2016
Location: Great Pit of Carkoon, Tatooine
Participants: Luka Krante, Hex

The short story: Luka spots some interesting items on the slopes of a sarlacc pit. It's dangerous to go alone, so he brings Hex.

The long story:

WHO CARES ABOUT A LOG WHEN YOU CAN HAVE........ A BALLAD?!

Out in the desert, under burning hot skies
There arrived a young man with his eye on a prize
Pieces of rifles most deadly and rare
But of their deep desert guardian, oh one must beware

"I think I can get those," said Luka, the boy
"Wouldn't they make such a fine deadly toy?"
The sand did not phase him, nor did the stench
Or the tentacles writhing from a terrible trench

CHORUS:
Luka oh Luka don't go in that pit
You're too young and pretty for this to be it
All of your girlfriends will cry it's too soon
So stay far away from the Pit of Carkoon

But Luka was bold and as brave as can be
No self preservation at age twenty three
He lacked only one thing, a fool of a friend
To hold on to the rope and witness his end

He searched through Mos Eisley but they all shook their head
Saying no thanks Luka Krante we'd like not to be dead
None of those souls would dare risk their necks
With no other choice he said "I'd better I'll call Hex"

(CHORUS)

The two of them sped over rocks, over sand
With a blaster, a rope, and a real stupid plan
To lower brave Luka down over the side
And neither would be surprised if he died

He ran toward the treasures and picked up the first
But as he snatched up the second his luck turned for worse
A hideous tentacle rose from the abyss
And the sarlacc prepared to make Luka its bitch

(AGAIN WITH THE CHORUS)

"Help me," cried Luka, "Or I'll breathe my last"
"Stop moving," cried Hex, "Or I'll shoot your damn ass"
Hex aimed and he fired, and for once did not miss
The sarlacc recoiled with an unholy hiss

Hex pulled him to safety, and there at the top
Luka was grinning and just could not stop
"I don't even want these," he said, cavalier
And Hex gasped "Then why did you risk your sweet perky rear

To go into the maw of a terrible beast,
Seeking treasures you don't actually want in the least?"
"For story, for glory," said Luka, "To see if I'd won
"But mostly cause only.... I thought it'd be fun."

IF YOU READ THIS FAR I AM SO SORRY LUKA MADE ME DO IT