Log:Hung Like a Hapan:Queen Dumpy

Queen Dumpy

OOC Date: February 26th, 2018
Location: Hapes
Participants: Defiance: Zhu Yan, Grom, Sajin

The approach to Hapes was, well, something that might have been out of the Empire. There were massive war-ships everywhere. the Infamous Hapan Battle-dragons as well as their Nova-class Battle Cruisers on shakedowns, exercises, and patrols. Yan was comm'd several times for verification and security codes which somehow Sajin was able to supply via his graft that Quinton gave him. Once landed at the Main Cities port, Sajin opens the ramp for the rest while Rosh who had been injured gravely was being tended to by whoever decided to stay behind. "Stay together but spread out. Don't bother too many folks or they'll start asking questions or get suspicious. Us men really, really need to keep our hands to our selves... and last but not least... try not to shoot anyone. Let's just get to the Palace."

Zhu Yan had been the Pathfinder through the Transitory Mists. The Redline was a good ship. A piece of junk, but a good ship. It was tiring work, though. "Look, as long as you introduce me to every single lady on this planet, I'll be okay," explained the hotshot pilot, hands in pockets, dad-bod mildly visible, being every indication of a man whom every single Hapan woman would dismiss out of hand. He, of course, had his Bryar strapped to his holster. He wasn't going anywhere without his First True Love.

Grom was largely quiet, apart from one exclamation on the ship after the third hail, in which he had advised, "Tell them this is the Royal Barge of Fale! Then they will end this chatter." Upon setting foot on the ground, he grunts wordlessly to the instructions, sniffing once, after. "Grom will axe, then. Ha!" is his answer to 'try not to shoot anyone'.

Sajin eyes Grom a moment, "I don't know if that would help to be honest." He moves down the ramp. "Well you're welcome to pursue your interests but I'm more concerned with your mental well being after they all reject you." He smirks and chuckles nodding towards an alley way. "This way, the Palace is only a few meters ahead." Some of the guards eye them as they move into the Alleyway but otherwise don't bother them. Sajin seems intent on keeping a quick pace and getting inside the palace as fast as possible.

"Eh, wouldn't be the first time," said Yan, all cavalier about the whole thing. He ambled along with Sajin, and his new friend HUGE GUTS, sorry, Grom. "You know," he murmured as they got into the alleyway and out of sight, "we just passed one of those sexy ladies pulling out a comm. Someone's calling ahead to announce you, bro."

Grom grunts again as Sajin leads them along, the Houk's brisk and heavy footfalls keeping pace, as narrowed yellow eyes are occupied largely with being sure he doesn't walk face first into any low hanging lines, balconies, or bridges.

Lucky for the Houk the Hapan people were tall, muscular, and lean. maybe not as tall as him but he wasn't in any danger of running into any archways or cloths lines. The buildings making up the alleyway are tall and stone. Women, bared back, sit in windows and eye the strangers passing by. Some giggle and chuckle looking towards the three men. Sajin smiles lightly and gives a wave to a trio of them who turn and giggle among each other. Their older mother eyeing them and coming to close the wooden window door. Not today hound dogs! Sajin turns to Yan, "Really? Maybe they're expecting me."

tThough that theory comes to and end when they enter a bit of 'square' in the alleyway where children play and people commune. There's no one here. No-one but two Her Majesties Select Commando's in all their hotness and crimson glory blocking the path forwards.

"Man, why do you gotta get all the attention," complained Zhu Yan. He was, without a doubt, the shortest person on this planet. Everyone else was six foot or more, and this little five foot seven hunk of pure man meat (lol) was nothing but an entree. He quietly fumed. "Pro-tip, buddy, if they're expecting you, it's..." and it was at that point that the alleyway came out to a small, abandoned area with a couple of smokin' hotties. "...a trap. Trap? Trap." Yan nodded once. "Ladies."

Grom judges, "Grom does not understand mammals. Your females are soft, hairy, and lack feminine patterns in their scales. Also they have no scales." The big warrior afterward looms silently beside Sajin as they emerge into the square, sizing up the Commandos before them silently.

Sajin blinks, "Ah... perhaps your right. There's another way..." He turns back they way they came coming face to face with Grom's large chest. "Excuse me..." he whispers, side stepping only to notice another few of the Commando's blocking that exit as well. Pursing his lips he slumps forwards. "What the hell do you all want from me! I'm a threat to no-one!"

From behind the guards comes a voice. "You're a threat to me." It's a commanding voice, female of course, but it seemd to breath power and elegance. Though, where that voice comes from is beyond reason as a short and pudgy fat woman -- Who's not so bad in the face -- steps forwards to face the three travelers. Sajin blinks, confused. "Who the hell are you?" The women narrows her brows, obviously not impressed that he doesn't know.

"Dude she's my height!" exclaimed Zhu Yan, face a mixture of fear and glee. He was NOT ALONE on this godforsaken supermodel planet! "Thank the maker!" This was really not the best time to be having a happy happy joy joy moment. "Hey ma'am! Hey!" He waved obnoxiously at the new woman, the one who could charitably be called dumpy. He waved with his LEFT hand. Because the right one was really close to his Bryar. "What's the deal-io? Help a brother out! You seem cool!"

"You are excused," Grom informs Sajin a bit louder than needed when answering a whisper. The Houk doesn't tense or seem perturbed by another line of guards behind them, eyeing each in turn and taking stock of visible weapons. Zhu Yan is left to assist Sajin as diplomat.

The short and fat, yet cute in the face, Hapan woman is wearing red like her tall bombshell commandos but wears a lot more gold then they do. "You will not make it to the Queen Mother to take your inheritance..."

Sajin blinks, confused, "Inheritance what the hell are you talking about?"

"You don't know?" She laughs, "When you left I saw to the death of your entire family. I took over your mothers position. It was a great feeling of vengeance to know that he only son was gone and that noone was left to take over her position. Until you married that Princess..."

"Wait... you killed my family." Sajin seems to frown at this a moment but then becomes gleeful, attempting to give both Yan and Grom hi-fives. "I'm free! I'm FREE!"

The Commander does not seem happy that he's dancing around. She pulls out her blaster pistol and shoots it into the air. "Would you cut it out! You're supposed to be like. Oh no, why did you kill my parents and CRY you fool..."

Sajin blinks, pausing with the report of the blaster pistol. "I uh..." He swallows. "Why'd you kill my parents."

"Because they killed my mother. My mother who was in love with you!"

"Ooooooh DAYUM son!" was Zhu Yan's space-Greek chorus input. Whap! There goes a high-five! "Good on you buddy! Why are you celebrating? Were they pieces of work?" He tucked his thumbs in his belt loop, CLOSE TO THE BRYAR. Because quick-draws were fun. He turned back to Queen Dumpy. "Was your mum hot?" Oh my god Yan why.

Grom returns a high-four with more force than might be expected. He asides to Zhu Yan in a whisper (clearly audible to all present), "Tell Grom why little red human wants little king to cry. Is this human mating rite?"

Sajin blinks, nodding slightly to Yan in response to the question about his parents. Then with a ghastly look back to Ano, he shakes his head. "Tenjo... you're Tenjo's daughter?"

Ano narrows her brows at Yan, points her blaster pistol at him, then squeezes the trigger. Her weapon is what the Hapans call a Gun of Command. Very old and important. "DIE!" SHe screams like a pudgy little troll. The other 4 guards press forward armed with melee weapons, shock spears by the look of them.

"Sithspit!" was Zhu Yan's expletive of choice as yet another person took a potshot at him! Yan's response was immediate. He had one trick up his sleeve but it was a damn fine one. With lightning speed, out came the Bryar and, firing from the hip, the gun went BLAT twice. The first bolt caught Queen Dumpy in the torso, and the second stitched the wall right behind it. And now Zhu Yan was exposed to return fire. He dove for cover, what little cover he could find! "This is definitely a human mating ritual!" he shrieked out!

"Finally a ritual that makes sense!" Grom roars back to Zhu as Commandos bear down on them with shock lances. His vibro axe is drawn out and pulled back, lashing out at whichever of the crimson clad warriors is nearest.

Ano's face falls as he bolt misses Yan by a wide Margin. She erupts in smoke as the bolt his obscuring her from View. The two front Commandos start in on Yan and Sajin but as Grom takes out with one swift blow, one of their comrades in a bloody violent burification, they stagger and pin all their attention on Grom who they view as the biggest threat at the moment.

From out of the smoke Comes a raging Ano, Queen Dumpy. She's charging strait for Yan, nothing but anger and pain in her eyes. "I'll FUCK YOU SILLLY!"

Sajin is so confused.

Grom warns his fellows aloud, "Grom has made another opponent! There were four- now are five! HA!" Houk humor can be very hit or miss. Axe recovered in a broad swing that sends a spray of blood sluicing off the blade, as he prepares to swing a second time, deflecting a pair of blows, but taking a light wound from the third.

"I'm flattered, really, I am!" boomed Zhu Yan, breaking from cover. He'd assessed the situation. Grom was a monster, in the orgy to end all orgies. Sajin was alone, confused, still somehow the prettiest person present. Queen Dumpy was making all sorts of overtures towards Yan's nethers and they weren't in the fun way. It was a shootout and Yan was going to do it in style. He strode forward, blaster up at eye level, firing all the way. "I bet you're wonderful in bed!" Wow. He kept on firing, not letting up until he could confirm the kill, which given the smoke everywhere was not an easy thing to do.

Ano goes down in a cloud of smoke and blaster fire from Yan. He body mangled with blaster bolt burns and entry/exit wounds. She lays still, quiet, a former shell of what the Commander had been. The three who are focused on Grom get a bit of a moral boost as they score a successful voley of hit on Grom with their spears. Though, as they See Ano Tank Yan's Bryar and Grom Gash through one more of their member, nearly separating one side of her body from the other they start to loose confidence and step back. The one injured gravely, staggers back towards Sajin who takes out his Vibroblade and finishes the job by lobbing off her head. HE then turns to the others and readies himself for another attack.

"Ladies, ladies, please!" called out Zhu Yan to the assembled foursome covered in blood, a sure sign of hedonism. "Your boss is dead, your target doesn't care, honestly, you've come away with a win here!" Unless she was paying them. Yan looked over at the dead dumpy corpse next to him and prayed to whatever gods they worshiped that they'd already been paid. "How's about we put the swords down and go have some lunch? Honestly I'm starving." He was awfully friendly for someone who'd just outright murdered a woman.

Grom bellows, "Bow before the King of Fale, little red humans!" Reptilian lips draw back from bared teeth, though whether in pain, anger, or revelry is difficult to tell. Not helping much with Zhu's efforts at De-escalation, he promptly swings again.

Yan's oh so elegant plea for peace and Harmony falls on deaf ears. These hot ass bitches were doing this for more than money. If one looked enough they'd notice that perhaps these women were not the most attractive. Don't get it wrong, they were still very hot compared to the normal rif raft of the 'verse but like Q back on Nar they were likely considered a lower rung. So maybe Ano was part of some ugly rights movement here. Maybe Yan, Sajin, and Grom just set this planet back another 150 years! Who know! They didn't care they were just happy they were still alive. As Grom cleaves the Last girl right in two like splitting a piece of wood to make fire with, Sajin steps up an engages the last one to stave off any counter attack to Grom from her. He slashes strait down, snapping her staff in half, carving a bloody laceration down through her shoulder to hip. And then he plunges the vibroblade strait into her gut, lifting her up against the hilt then tossing her dead body off to the side. He is covered in blood. His weapon is covered in blood. Everything is covered in blood and smoke but their enemies were vanquished. Looking a little sad, Sajin flicks the blood from his blade before sheathing it back to his back. "Come on... Kasia is going to meet us at the palace..." It didn't seem that he wanted to clean up in order to visit the queen mother. Perhaps he was just tired of the games.

"AW MAAAAAAAAAAN!" complained Yan loudly. He was distressed! Distraught! Aghast! He stared at the four (eight?) corpses on the ground near the Two-Man Wrecking Crew with sheer pain written all over his face. "Here I was, trying to score us some smokin' hot dates," Yan was too used to the ugly fare on Nar Shaddaa, see, "and you had to tear their worlds asunder!" He gestured wildly to the one who's torso was about eight meters from her legs. "Literally! Look at this mess!"

Grom declares aloud, "Grom wins!" A low rumble stirs in his throat as the Houk tests movement of arm and torso, feeling out his injuries as they resume walking toward the palace. "It is unusual to bow in two directions, but King Grom will permit it," he informs half of one slain lancer. Zhu is 'consoled', "Their teeth were for eating grain, and they probably had hair in disgusting places."

"Yes let's get out of here before they figure it was us!" Sajin says ushering the two along towards the exit they were originally heading down.